Lovable goblin henchman


Squeezer: Level 2 Goblin Sneak (Thief)


This is the tale of Squeezer the goblin henchman. Squeezer was born to a tribe of goblins living in the giant and humanoid occupied land of Sterich. Being a gentle sort of goblin, the kind of goblin who would squeeze a rat, but not choke it to death, Squeezer was banished from his tribe to wander alone. In time, the humans of Sterich retook their land from the giants. Squeezer was captured by group of evil humans who locked him in a dank dungeon to later be sacrificed to their god, the Elder Elemental Eye. Luckily for Squeezer, a group of adventurers happened upon his cell, and one of the party, and explorer named Mozgov, took pity on him and freed him.

Squeezer was very happy. He decided he would serve Mozgov however he could. So he led the adventurers to the lair of the evil cultists of the Elder Elemental Eye. But lo! The wizard cultist raised a magic ring and told them all to drop their weapons! All the good adventurers, including Mozgov, did just that. Squeezer shook off the magic spell, and deciding the only way to help his friends was to stab the wizard, that’s just what he did. The ring’s spell was broken and Mozgov and his friends were victorious, all thanks to Squeezer.

A few days later the party, with Squeezer along as Mozgov’s faithful henchman, entered a cave full of Morlocks. They dispatched the first monsters with ease, having gained some experience in this sort of thing. But their new found experience helped little when they ran into a room full of pit vipers. Mozgov was bitten and poisoned. The elf nightblade in the party put the snakes to sleep and they then killed them easily. Mozgov was fading fast. Squeezer knew what he had to do. He knew caves sometimes had plants that could heal poison. If he could find it, the party cleric could heal Mozgov’s poisoned blood. Squeezer looked and looked…and found the birthwort they needed to save Mozgov! Mozgov then swore Squeezer to be his lawful heir and to inherit all his wealth in the event of his death.

But that won’t happen. Not as long as Squeezer is around.


ACKS: The Liberation of Geoff Hexxenhammer Hexxenhammer